Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
“I want to love him. I really do. But I really don’t like him.”
That headline alone is enough to make most new puppy parents stop in their tracks. It came from a recent post on the r/puppy101 subreddit community post that hit a nerve. Not because it was shocking but because it was honest. Experiencing puppy blues and thinking ‘I don’t like my puppy’ is more common than you might think.
The OP, struggling with an 11-week-old puppy, went on to say:
“I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I am his prey and he won’t stop until he eats my flesh.”
Posts from the puppy101
community on Reddit
Yup. That sounds about right.
Welcome to the deep end of the puppy blues. You’re sleep-deprived and covered in bite marks. You’re suddenly questioning every life decision you’ve made. If you’ve ever whispered, “I think I made a mistake,” into the void, this blog is for you. This happens while your puppy gnawed on your ankle.
Puppy Blues: The Bond Isn’t Always Instant
When our dog Foxy was around 4 months old and teething, my husband was so frustrated by the constant nipping. He seriously asked if we could return her. She wasn’t aggressive, just really mouthy during play. She’d get our hands even when there was a toy in them. I stayed calm and ended play every time it happened because I understood biting is part of normal puppy development. But for my husband, who had forgotten what puppyhood was like, it was exhausting and overwhelming.
I reminded him that biting decreases significantly once teething ends. I also remind my clients. This happens only if we stay consistent about ending play when biting happens. Even if it seems like all you’re doing is repeatedly stopping play, it teaches your puppy. They learn that their actions have consequences. Foxy outgrew the biting with time, teething relief, and lots of repetition. And no, we didn’t return her. She’s still here and absolutely worth it.
Let’s get this out of the way: not liking your puppy right now is okay. It does not mean you don’t love them.
You’re overwhelmed. Your nervous system is fried. You are raising a baby animal. This animal doesn’t speak your language. It doesn’t understand personal space and thinks your hands are squeaky toys.
The idea that you’re supposed to instantly fall in love with a puppy the moment you bring them home? That’s a lie sold in marketing emails and toilet paper commercials. Real attachment takes time, especially when that time includes sleep deprivation, pee puddles, and bloodied knuckles.
And that’s okay.
When Biting Feels Like Betrayal
Puppy nipping is normal. But when it’s constant, intense, and directed at you every time you move? It starts to feel personal.
“He bites me. Constantly. Not my husband. Not the kids. Me... I try all the techniques I read about online and nothing is working.”
The resentment can build quickly when you’re the default caregiver and the primary chew toy. It feels like rejection. It feels like punishment. And it feels wildly unfair.
What you’re experiencing is not aggression. It’s overstimulation, teething, and a lack of self-regulation in a brain that has yet to develop. But knowing that doesn’t make the daily struggle any less brutal.
You’re not imagining it. This part is awful.
What Other Puppy Parents Said
The Reddit thread exploded with support, solidarity, and confessions from people who had felt the exact same way.
One commenter shared a challenging experience. Despite being a professional dog trainer, their first six months with their puppy were awful. They considered quitting their career and ending their marriage. That’s how hard it hit them.
“I work with dogs for a living. I considered changing careers and divorcing my husband; that’s how awful I felt with my puppy…”
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Another user shared:
“My dog was the WORST puppy. Absolute terror- bitey, struggled with potty training, destructive… I loved him, but I didn’t like him. Now, he’s the best dog I’ve ever had. It took a lot of time and work, but it paid off immensely.”
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That’s the part we forget to talk about. You don’t have to enjoy every stage to form a lasting, loving bond. In fact, some of the strongest relationships are forged through the hardest beginnings.
Puppy Burnout Is Real
Raising a puppy in today’s world presents unique challenges. There is conflicting advice and pressure to be perfect. Instagram-perfect pet accounts add to this pressure. All these factors can be a recipe for burnout.
You’re grieving your freedom and losing sleep. You’re stuck in a loop of unmet expectations.
If you’ve thought, “I miss my old life,” or “I don’t know who I am anymore,” you’re not being dramatic. You’re going through a massive life shift with very little support.
Research is finally catching up with what so many puppy parents have felt but couldn’t name. A 2024 study published in npj Mental Health Research formally defined the term puppy blues. The study found that nearly half of surveyed dog owners experienced significant negative emotions during puppyhood. These emotions included frustration, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion. The study confirmed what many of us already know: this phase is real. It’s intense. It often fades, but not without leaving a mark.
Another study published in Society & Animals highlighted significant findings. It emphasized the deep impact of the pressure to “get it right” during early puppyhood. This pressure can strongly affect a person. Puppy guardians described the experience as “grief.” They also felt “claustrophobia” and “the point of breakdown,” especially when puppies didn’t meet expectations. Puppies sometimes overwhelmed family routines.
Let’s stop pretending this is supposed to be easy.
What Actually Helps
No amount of “positive vibes only” is going to fix puppy blues. But here’s what can help:
- Lower your standards. You’re not training for the Olympics. You’re just trying to make it through the day without crying.
- Enforced naps. An overtired puppy is a biting, barking gremlin. Rest is magic.
- Tethering or gated areas. Manage the chaos. You don’t have to be on-duty 24/7.
- Play that doesn’t involve your body. Toys on ropes. Flirt poles. Food puzzles. Your hands are not fair game.
- Support from people who get it. Not everyone will understand. Find the ones who do.
Learn More
Stop Puppy Biting: Bite Inhibition with Simple Steps
Are you feeling overwhelmed by your puppy’s biting behavior? If so, you’re not alone. Many new puppy owners struggle with excessive nipping and biting during their puppy’s early stages. You might be exhausted, dealing with those sharp little teeth on…
Keep readingAnd if you need more than that? There is nothing wrong with seeking professional help!
You Can Love Them Later
If your puppy feels more like a source of anxiety than a source of joy right now, take a breath. You are allowed to feel disappointed and resentful. You are allowed to like your puppy later. This doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human.
If you’re struggling through the puppy blues, you’re not alone. My course, Surviving the Puppy Blues, was created for exactly this moment. And if you want to talk one-on-one, I’m here for that too.
You don’t have to enjoy the whole ride to build something beautiful. You just have to hold on long enough to meet the dog they’re becoming.
🐾 Have you felt this way, too? What helped or what didn’t? Share your story in the comments. Your honesty might help another overwhelmed puppy parent feel a little less alone.